*UPDATE: I realized this post had gotten lost in the shuffle of rebooting this blog and I saw that the the brilliant Chris Penn linked to it so I decided to repost it.

I’ve been involved in new media since 2005. In fact, I’ve been making a pretty good living thanks to New Media since 2006 and in that time I’ve seen the landscape change quite a bit. Back when I started it was all about audio and there wasn’t even an iTunes podcast directory. I can remember the day the video iPod was announced thinking “this is gonna change everything”… (and yes, hey you damn kids get off my lawn!)

And though I’ve seen quite a few folks brand themselves as “viral marketing” experts, what I’ve never seen is anyone tell me what makes that happen.

Then it kinda dawned on me as I was watching that whole Susan Boyle YouTube video phenomenon take off that there actually is a way to quantify what makes some videos go viral.

Viral videos fall under one of two categories: Incident or Acheivement.

Viral videos, by nature, are real time video documentation of “oh shit” moments, as in “Oh shit, did somone actually get that on video?” (Incident) or “Oh shit, that’s amazing” (Achievement)

“Numa Numa Guy”, “Star Wars Kid”, “Keyboard Cat”… Incident.

“Evolution of Dance”… Achievment.

What about super-smash viral videos like Susan Boyle on Britain’s Got Talent?

Achievement and Incident.

(and yes, “Two Girls, One Cup” is purely incident)

And so it dawned on me why you very rarely see scripted internet videos go viral and when you do, they are almost always videos carved out of mainstream TV shows with recognizable stars or indie-created projects where it’s obvious someone spent a few bucks on it to make it look as close to a mainstream product as possible.

(I’m not talking about successful video shows, I’m just talking about viral video clips)

“Dick in a Box” goes viral because part of the “Oh Shit” realization is that it’s Justin Timberlake making fun of himself. i.e. Achievement.

“Chocolate Rain” goes viral because it’s like watching some kind of car wreck that at the same time is mildly entertainng and thought provoking. i.e. Incident with a dash of Achievement. I can’t really willfully call it “Achievement” because nobody is talking about it anymore. That ship has sailed.

And of course any video where someone suffers an unexpected physical trauma falls under “Incident” (and is usualy quite funny as well.)

“Diet Coke and Mentos”… Achievment with a touch of Incident.

See where I’m going?

So, my dear friends, if you are trying to make your video go viral, you can market it all you want but unless it falls under one of these two categories, I think you’re gonna have an uphill battle on your hands.

This axiom (Which I’m now and forever dubbing “Nemcoff’s First Axiom of Virality”) even extends itself to photos as well, such as this recent “Photo Crasher Squirrel” pic (Incident).